George W. Bush Attacked by Penguins

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Bush Attacked by Penguins, cartoonGeorge W. Bush Attacked by Penguins

Date: 7/5/05 at 11:09AM

Mood: Looking Playing: Beautiful Bird, by Travis

Bush Attacked by Penguins

MORGANTOWN, WV (IWR News Satire) – President George W. Bush was attacked by [a] flock of angry [king] penguins following his Independence Day message on climate change while visiting West Virginia University in Morgantown, West Virginia, July 4, 2005.

The penguins, which were part of a promotion for the March of the Penguins movie, attacked Bush after he said that he would not support a Kyoto style agreement on global warming.

Although Mr. [Bush] acknowledged that some of global warming was caused by human activity, he blamed the majority of the problem on “smelly, dirty animals like penguins, sea otters and capybaras“.

Mr. Bush, who is known to have a severe bird phobia since childhood, fainted and then regained consciousness later after being treated with smelling salts.

Bush was then carried off on stretcher while sobbing and asking for his teddy bear until he was sped off in an ambulance.

2 thoughts on “George W. Bush Attacked by Penguins

  1. Pingback: University Update

  2. Meet the penguins who can save the world
    US government takes first steps to protect these flightless birds – obliging it to tackle the global warming threat to their survival

    By Geoffrey Lean, Environment Editor
    Published: 15 July 2007

    Penguins may succeed where Tony Blair and other world leaders have failed – in getting George W Bush to take action on global warming.

    The US administration has taken the first official steps towards listing 10 species of penguin threatened by global warming. That would legally oblige it to tackle climate change under the powerful Endangered Species Act. The law requires the government not to do anything that would “jeopardise the continued existence” of listed species.

    The move, by the official Fish and Wildlife Service, is a remarkable victory for a small Arizona-based pressure group, the Center for Biological Diversity. Its activists have been working to use environmental legislation to force a change in the President’s climate policies through the back door.

    Last November they filed a petition under the Endangered Species Act for the 10 species (see above) to be listed on the grounds that they were “all endangered or will likely be endangered in the foreseeable future”. It added: “Global warming represents the most significant and pervasive threat to the continued existence of penguins. Unless there is prompt action to cut US and global greenhouse gas emissions, the march of the penguins will be a march towards extinction.”

    It admits that each of the 10 species faces other threats – including from oil spills, habitat destruction, being caught in fishing nets and from breeding sites being disturbed by tourists – but argues that all are far more affected by climate change.

    Populations of krill, their staple food, have plunged by as much as 80 per cent over much of the Southern Ocean as temperatures have risen during the past 30 years.

    The emperor penguin colony, which features in the hit film “March of the Penguins”, has been reduced by half as a result. The US Fish and Wildlife Service is embarking on a detailed review of the state of the 10 species, before deciding whether to list them. If it does, all federal agencies will be bound by law to stop any action carried out, authorised or funded by the government that endangers them.

    After a similar initiative by the Arizona centre, polar bears are even further along the road to being officially listed as endangered by global warming – a final decision on their status will be taken by early January.


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